The Ballad of the Brothers Krongard

SOME BROTHERS JUST DON’T GET ALONG
STUFF OF MYTHS AND FABLES
LIKE ROMULUS AND REMUS
AND GOOD OL’ CAIN AND ABEL
BUT THESE ARE MODERN TIMES
AND WE NEED OUT MODERN LEGENDS
OF BROTHERLY BLOOD RIVALRY
CORRUPTION AND REVENGE

BY NOW YOU’VE HEARD OF BLACKWATER
THAT MURDEROUS FOREIGN LEGION
LOOTING OUR TREASURY
DOESN’T ANSWER TO OUR LAWS
THE DARK PRINCE WHO LEADS THEM
COULDN’T DO IT ON HIS OWN
HE HAD THE BROTHERS KRONGARD
TO HELP HIM IN HIM IN HIS CAUSE

ONE BROTHER’S NAME IS COOKIE
THE OTHER ONE IS BUZZY
I’M TELLING YOU THE TRUTH
I COULDN’T MAKE THIS UP
ONE WORKED FOR THE CIA
THE OTHER WORKED FOR STATE
IT’S VERY HARD TO FIGURE OUT
WHICH ONE IS MORE CORRUPT

BUZZY WENT FROM WALL STREET
TO THE CIA
HE WAS NUMBER THREE
ON THAT FATEFUL DAY
TRADERS AT HIS OLD FIRM
WERE PLACING LOTS OF BETS
THAT PLANES WOULD FALL FROM THE SKY
DID THEY KNOW ABOUT THE THREATS?

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In yet another sordid tale so familiar to the morally bankrupt Bush administration, we learn about the brothers Krongard, Howard "Cookie" and Alvin "Buzzy".

Cookie, the State Department's Inspector General was being questioned by the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee for not seriously investigating Blackwater, the infamous security contractor, which thanks to Jeremy Scahill, the brilliant investigative reporter, was uncovered as a rogue firm answering to no one.

The committee's investigation revealed that Buzzy, Cookie's brother, was a Blackwater board member, which angered Cookie, who vehemently denied it. A letter from Erik Prince, Blackwater's founder and CEO, welcoming Buzzy to the Blackwater board was produced in these riveting hearings. Cookie called his brother during recess and indeed learned that Buzzy had a significant financial interest in the company and was a member of the board.

THE NEXT MONTH BUZZY SAID
“WERE GONNA WIN THIS WAR
WITH FORCES YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT
WE’LL SETTLE THIS SCORE
IN WAYS YOU WOULDN’T WANT TO KNOW
AND ACTIONS YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE”…... PAUSE
THEN HE HIRED BLACKWATER
SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY

THAT WAS IN AFGHANISTAN
FAST FORWARD TO IRAQ
BLACKWATER’S MAKING BILLIONS
NO ONE CAN HOLD THEM BACK
NOW THEY HAVE A CONTRACT
WITH THE DEPARTMENT OF STATE
THEY KILL WOMEN AND CHILDREN
THEY DON’T DISCRIMINATE …...BREAK

REMEMBER BUZZY’S BROTHER?
COOKIE WORKED FOR STATE
THE INSPECTOR GENERAL
BLACKWATER ON HIS PLATE
HIS JOB TO INVESTIGATE
DRAGGING HIS FEET
HAULED IN FRONT OF CONGRESS
STARTS TO FEEL THE HEAT

BUZZY HIRED BLACKWATER
NOW HE’S ON THEIR BOARD
COOKIE SAYS “ITS NEWS TO ME”
BUZZY THROWS HIM OVERBOARD
“I TOLD MY BROTHER EVERYTHING”
IT SEEMS THEY CAN’T AGREE......PAUSE
SURE LOOKS LIKE COOKIE KRONGARD
COMMITTED PERJURY......REPEAT FIRST VERSE

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Cookie then recused himself from any matters pertaining to Blackwater, but tried to weasel out of the stickiness by saying that they "have gone to great lengths to keep their relationships separate". Problem was, Buzzy contradicted Cookie's assertions, saying that he absolutely told him of his connection to Blackwater.

Shortly after, Howard "Cookie" Krongard resigned as Inspector General of the State Department. No one has been named to replace him.